Well I don't need no alcoholic drink
To tell you that I care
To tell you that you're beautiful
And compliment your hair

You dance the tango with your life
And That I so respect
But I can only dance the mambo
Like I did when we first met
Together, however,
The tango and mambo clash like this outfit

And I try so much to dance your dance
But I haven't got it yet

Cause it's hard for guys like me to be
So unconditionally witty
I wear 2 different socks each day
And try to write new ditties
I try to sing real good for you
But I can't, and it's a pity
Cause deep inside me
You inspire me
Like the grandest city

So I'm singing you this love song
Where I jump into falsetto
Cause I can't sing real high in my chest voice
But I still love you
And being with you lifts me up and makes me oh so high!
You toss me up into the air
Like Pizza Pie
I touch the sky

It's just the way you move your hips
And eat your cereal
That makes me feel so fond of you
It's quite ethereal
I open up a book to read
You say "I love that book.
And I would probably read it too
If you knew how to cook!"

And though this comment makes me out
To be a common crook
I try my best to make you laugh
And you give me that look

Cause it's hard for guys like me to be
So unconditionally witty
I wear 2 different socks each day
And try to write new ditties
I try to sing real good for you
But I can't, and it's a pity
Cause deep inside me
You inspire me
Like the grandest city

So I'm singing you this love song
Where I jump into falsetto
Cause I can't sing real high in my chest voice
But I still love you
And being with you lifts me up and makes me oh so high!
You toss me up into the air
Like Pizza Pie
I touch the sky

Oh yes, and I will cook for you
But I don't think you'll like it
Cause when I try to cook for you
It ends up tasting like shit
And though I know if I spent more time
On that, and not this song
I'd learn to cook so very well
And you would prove me wrong

What can I do?
I love you more
Than anyone
Has done before
But I also love
This music too
And it's not for me
It's all for you

That's why I'm singing you this love song
Where I jump into falsetto
Cause I can't sing real high in my chest voice
But I still love you
And if I help around the house
I know I'd make you high
But I also know that if I cooked you
Things like Pizza Pie
They'd make you cry

(I really am that bad...)

And if I couldn't sing some more
I think that I would be sad
So please just let me sing some more
And I promise I will try
To cook
Without a sigh